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Dealing with loneliness

While loneliness is a common feeling, it’s often hard to cope with. If you’re feeling lonely we’ve got tips to help you through it.


It’s ok to feel lonely sometimes

Loneliness is something everybody experiences. Like any feeling, loneliness will usually pass in time.

Our brains are wired for connection with others and the pain of loneliness is a part of our survival instinct.

You can be surrounded by lots of people and feel lonely. At other times, you might be perfectly happy spending time alone.

What happens when you feel lonely?

Even though loneliness is a common experience, it can be a complex feeling that is painful and scary.

Feeling lonely (and the fear of feeling lonely) can bring up other thoughts and feelings including:

Confusion about what’s triggered it

Feeling isolated from others

Feeling that nobody cares

Wanting to suppress or escape it

Distress and worry that it’s not going to go away

Painful memories of feeling abandoned in the past

We've teamed up with Pedestrian TV to bring you HRU? a podcast and video series that discusses the hard stuff, like loneliness.

Learning to deal with loneliness

While there’s no quick fix for loneliness, you can get better at identifying, accepting and coping with loneliness.

Identify how you’re feeling – allow yourself to accept where you’re at
Be kind to yourself – give yourself time to heal
Get support if you need – reach out and talk to somebody about it
Take your mind of it for a while - do something you enjoy
Spend time with family and friends – avoid withdrawing from others
Take it day by day - focus on what’s happening in the present
Try to focus on what is good in your life - avoid worrying about the negative

If feelings of loneliness don’t go away then seek help

If the loneliness doesn’t pass on its own then it might be sign that something else is happening.

  • Sometimes loneliness can be linked with memories from the past that haven’t been resolved.

  • Loneliness can stem from loss and grief when you lose somebody or something you care about.

  • You might have gone through a relationship break down and need to process your thoughts and feelings about it.

  • There could be an underlying mental health issue that’s linked with feelings of loneliness such as depression.

If you can’t shake the feeling of loneliness then contact us and talk about it with a Kids Helpline counsellor today.

There’s always somebody you can talk to

If you want support to cope with feelings of loneliness talk to a Kids Helpline counsellor.

Call us, start a WebChat, or email us today.

You can also check out Head to Health for other digital services and resources.

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This content was last reviewed 14/02/2018
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