All about cyberbullying
If you’re experiencing cyberbullying, you’re not alone.
This article gives you an overview of different types of cyberbullying, ways you can protect yourself, frequently asked questions, myths and facts and more.
Cyberbullying. Trolling. Outing. Cancelling. Doxxing.
Hanging out online is great! Until it's not.
Cyberbullying can look like lots of different things, and it can happen on different technologies, games, sites and apps.
If something online brings you down and affects your wellbeing, there are things you can do and people who can help.
What is cyberbullying?
Cyberbullying can also be called ‘online bullying’ and can include:
- Verbal abuse (saying mean and hurtful things)
- Humiliating or embarrassing someone on purpose
- Spreading rumours or lies
- Setting up fake profiles
- Excluding others
- Harassment (abusing and insulting you over and over)
- Threats
Cyberbullying can be incredibly harmful to experience.
Types of online bullying
This list doesn't include every type of cyberbullying people can experience. But here are some of them:
- Trolling: When someone deliberately comments or posts something online with the intent to upset or fight with others. Trolling is only cyberbullying when it’s done with the intention to cause harm.
- Outing: When someone shares private information about someone else without their permission, such as revealing someone’s gender or sexual identity online.
- Cancelling: When a person’s social media accounts are boycotted, ostracised (excluded from the social group) or shunned (ignored) when others think they've acted in an unacceptable way. This isn’t always cyberbullying, but it becomes cyberbullying if it’s used to exclude or isolate others.
- Doxing / Doxxing: When someone deliberately shares someone's personal identity, such as their real name or address, online without their permission.
- Excluding: Leaving someone out deliberately, or uninviting them, from online groups, conversations or events.
- Fraping: Sending direct insults to upset someone online.
- Masquerading: When someone makes a fake account with the sole purpose of cyberbullying someone.
- Dissing: Spreading info in public posts or in DMs (direct messages) in order to ruin someone else's reputation or their relationships with others.
- Catfishing: Making a fake online identity to trick, scam or manipulate someone.
Some types of online harassment and abuse can overlap with bullying. Stuff like revenge-porn, sextortion, cyberstalking, online harassment, threats and more are all examples of illegal online behaviours. You don't need to be sure it's illegal, or know what it's called to get help. If it's making you feel unsafe, please tell a trustworthy adult like a teacher, parent or counsellor.
If you experience cyberbullying, here's what you can do!
If you are being cyberbullied, it's not your fault and there are things you can do. Try following our ‘4S’ steps.
Stay calm
Cyberbullying can trigger a lot of emotions. It's important you don't panic or retaliate as sometimes that can make things worse. It's always a good idea to respond when you are feeling calmer and have a clear mind.
Screenshot
Take screenshots. It's important to keep the evidence if you have to report. If you find you keep looking at the screenshots or that having these saved are impacting on you, send a copy to someone you trust (e.g. a parent) and then delete your own copy.
Shut it down
You can block the person and report the cyberbullying to the game, site or app it occurs on. In most cases, cyberbullying is against their terms and conditions of use and should be removed.
If you are unhappy with the response you get or the cyberbullying is not removed after being reported, you can also report it to eSafety.
Support
Report the cyberbullying to more than one trusted adult and keep on talking to them until the situation is resolved. You could talk to a parent, a teacher, your school counsellor, another family member and Kids Helpline to name a few.
Report cyberbullying
If you're dealing with cyberbullying, you're not alone! You can make a complaint to the Office of the eSafety Commissioner.
Responding with humour
In some cases, using humour can be a great way to defuse a situation where someone has said or done something mean online.
It's especially helpful for one-off mean comments, or in cases where others are trying to upset you or make you argue back. Here's some inspiration!
"Only try humour if you feel safe. If the bullying is repeated, ongoing or feels serious, you're not sure humour is a good approach, or you think it could escalate things, talk with a support person before responding."
- Amanda, Kids Helpline Counsellor
Coping with cyberbullying
I blocked and reported the cyberbullying… now what? How do I feel better again?
Cyberbullying can hit hard. It can make you feel unsafe online or bad about yourself.
Here are some other things that can really help!
- Depersonalise it – people who cyberbully others are acting in a way that isn’t ok – and that’s their problem/issue (not yours!) Remember that being targeted by someone who cyberbullies isn’t your fault.
- Reframe it – try to find positives that came about as a result of a bad situation.
- Find meaning or purpose – sometimes going through tough times can make us stronger or teach us something new.
- Focus on what you can control – you didn’t choose the bad thing that happened, but you can choose what you do next.
- Prepare for next time – hopefully it won't happen again, but we can't always avoid bad things. It can help to have a plan around what you might do differently instead! Remember that different types of cyberbullying sometimes require different types of responses.
- Get support – if you find this stuff impacts you more severely than expected, or longer than you think it should, you can talk to someone you trust like a parent, teacher, friend or Kids Helpline.
Looking for even more ways to cope? Check out our 'bullying coping strategies' article for ways to manage mental health and rebuild self-esteem.
Cyberbullying FAQs
Our counsellors answer your burning questions!
No question is taboo. Let’s address some of the real, less-typical questions we’ve been asked by teens.
Content warning: this includes questions that may be distressing, so read it with a supportive person or keep scrolling if you’re not in the headspace for that!
I've been social justice trolling...
I’ve been trolling people who really deserve it because they’re harming others online. They’re doing stuff like spreading hate speech, targeting others and grooming kids. Is that still cyberbullying?
Technically, yes. Repeatedly trolling someone online can be considered cyberbullying or even online harassment – no matter who they are, or why you’re doing it. It’s understandable you feel angry and that you want to take action and make a difference. But insulting or harassing individuals online doesn’t role model respect or lead to behaviour change. It could even have the opposite effect, making them feel attacked or justified.
Also, we’re concerned that there could be risks to your own safety – they could doxx you (find out and leak your personal info), cyberbully you, or more. It could also get you in trouble with the law (sometimes cyberbullying can be illegal), or accidentally interfere with justice being done, e.g. Your comments make someone delete their account, which interrupts a police investigation (as the evidence is now gone).
If you find people promoting hate speech, or doing other things which are unlawful, the best thing you can do is not engage, take screenshots (document their handle, site, content, evidence, etc.,) and report the person to the site/platform it’s happening on, and eSafety.
Adults don't get it
Why should I tell an adult about cyberbullying? I don’t think they’ll get it. They'll overreact, say it's my fault, or only see the bad stuff.
There isn’t just one online world – but many. And teens experiences online are very different to adults' experiences. Even if adults don’t ‘get it’, they can often still help. Adults may have access to more info, resources, supports and power than teens which can really help make a difference in addressing cyberbullying.
Adults who know about psychology and the teen brain, like counsellors, also understand that teens will sometimes make mistakes online. It’s normal for teens to take risks, react emotionally, or more. That’s a healthy part of brain development. Trustworthy adults, at services like Kids Helpline aren’t here to judge, or tell you to just ignore it or get offline. We’re here to support you – your safety, and wellbeing, and to help you figure it out your way. And it’s never too late to get help.
Does cyberbullying cause suicide?
There's been a lot of stuff online lately about people ending their life after being cyberbullied.
Over the last few years, there have been some high-profile media stories where teens and young people have sadly taken their own lives, in part because of bullying or cyberbullying.
It's true that cyberbullying can increase the risk of suicide. It's also true that suicide is incredibly complicated experience. There is no one cause.
Some people who are cyberbullied are also suicidal. But there are also people who are suicidal who aren’t being cyberbullied – and people who are being cyberbullied who don’t have thoughts of suicide.
You don't need to wait to speak up and ask for help until things are "bad enough". You deserve to be heard any time there is something on your mind. Kids Helpline is here to listen. If you or someone else is unsafe or having thoughts of ending your life it's important to speak up and reach out. We also have a suicide and self-harm safety guide here.
If you're in immediate danger, please call 000 or tell a trusted adult straight away.
Bullied on socials - under 16
Will I get in trouble if I report it or tell someone?
No. You (and your parents) won’t get in trouble. The under 16s social media ban/age delay isn’t about policing and punishing teens and their parents, it’s about making social media more accountable.
If you're being cyberbullied on socials, please report it to the platform it happened on, report it to eSafety, and connect with Kids Helpline for support.
Can you prevent cyberbullying from happening to you?
I'm scared of being cyberbullied. How do I stop it from ever happening to me!
You can’t control the actions of others, and being cyberbullied is NEVER the fault of the person being targeted.
But there are some steps you can take that can lower your risks of being bullied online. And they’re also general good practise for overall online safety, too!
Stuff like setting your profile to private, reviewing your other privacy settings to make your accounts more secure, and limiting what personal info you share can help.
Some apps allow you to turn on filters to hide mean words or being contacted by strangers. And you can make it a personal rule to immediately block and report unwanted contacts (without engaging with them).
I’m worried that if I tell an adult about the cyberbullying, they’ll take away my device...
That’s a really valid concern.
And let's be real, there is a chance an adult in your life might react that way. Sometimes, adults think they’re helping solve the problem by taking away a smartphone. People can be frightened of things they don’t understand. People can mean well and try to help... but it doesn’t work out that way. People can also make mistakes.
At Kids Helpline, we encourage adults and young people to work together on ways to stay safe online, rather than automatically taking devices away. That can feel like being punished for something that’s not your fault.
If you’re telling an adult about cyberbullying, you can try and say something like: “Can I talk to you about something important? Before I tell you, it’s important to me that I don’t lose my phone or access to online stuff.” Explain that taking your phone away can feel like a punishment for being hurt and ask if you can work together to figure out next steps you both agree with.
If you’re really worried, talk to an alternative person first, or a service like Kids Helpline. They can help you figure out what to say and do.
Take a stand against cyberbullying!
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Here's some ways to be an absolute legend and take a stand against cyberbullying.
Lead by example
Only comment or share things that are kind and build others up. If you see a comment section becoming negative, rather than disagreeing or arguing back, post a compliment or some kind feedback. There's a chance it will mean a lot to the person who originally posted.
Don't engage
People who cyberbully publicly may be rage-baiting. They might get off on people getting upset or arguing with them. And the algorithm often rewards engagement - even if it's negative. Don't feed the trolls - don't engage.
Reach out
If someone you know is being cyberbullied, reach out to them. Check in with them to see if they are ok and let them know that what is happening to them is not cool.
Call out bad behaviour online
If you feel safe, you can post a respectful comment or meme saying that you don’t agree with the cyberbullying. 80% of you told us that you wished someone would stand up for you if you were being cyberbullied.
Report it
Most games, apps, and sites have easy ways to report cyberbullying. You can report cyberbullying that's happening to other people. And often you can report it without the person doing it ever knowing it was you. (Yay for the anonymous reporting feature!)
Check in
Check in with a trusted adult so they know what's going on. This could be a teacher, parent, older sibling or a counsellor. Remember, we are always here to help.
For more strategies to be a cyberbullying upstander, or to support a friend who is being cyberbullied, check out 'my friend is being cyberbullied' article.
Cyberbullying myths & facts
Let’s dispel some of the common myths teens might hear.
Myth: Cyberbullying isn’t as harmful as face-to-face bullying.
Fact: All bullying is harmful in different ways.
Cyberbullying has some unique challenges when compared to traditional bullying, such as:
- It’s 24/7. The internet never sleeps, it can be on your phone, tablet or computer at any hour.
- There’s no safe haven. Unlike bullying at school, it can follow you home and into your bedroom, so nowhere feels safe.
- It can have big audiences. Thousands of people might see the bullying, humiliation, etc.. And what’s worse, they can join in. Each person might only make one comment or react with one emoticon, but when hundreds of people all do one thing, it adds up.
- It can be permanent. Once something is posted, it can be very hard to remove it.
- It can be anonymous. You might not know who’s doing it.
- They wouldn't say it to your face. People are harsher online. It can seem like the person on the other side of the screen 'isn't a real person'.
- It can overlap with in-person bullying. People who bully in-person may also target and bully online, too.
If you're being cyberbullied, it's understandable if you're feeling distressed. All of these reasons above are why you should get support asap. It's never too late to get support - and getting help sooner can reduce or prevent some of the negative impacts of cyberbullying.
Myth: If you are being cyberbullied, just get offline. That will stop it.
Fact: It’s true that taking a tech break can be a good option sometimes. But it’s not as simple as just chucking your phone in the toilet!
Learning how to navigate tricky stuff online, like cyberbullying, is a really important skill you'll need in the future - avoiding it won't help longterm. And, let's be realistic - having access to online is kind of an essential now. You need a device to scan QR codes at restaurants, do your homework, and organise catchups with your friends.
Plus, being online has lots of good stuff, too! It’s a place to find your community, connect and socialise, be entertained, pursue interests, and more. Imagine if everyone who had a negative experience online stopped posting, sharing, etc..
The reality is that some people, and some groups of people experience way more hate online than others. People who are different, from minority groups, have disabilities, and more, have just as much right to be online, and visible online as everyone else. Everyone has a right to be safe online. Cyberbullying is not okay. Stopping cyberbullying is the goal, not pushing people offline. The online world is for everyone. Stopping cyberbullying benefits us all.
Myth: People who cyberbully get away with it. There's nothing you can do.
Fact: People who cyberbully can be caught and stopped.
It’s true that some people get away with cyberbullying. The main things that make them more likely to ‘get away with it’ is people not reporting. Other things play a role too – like forgetting to screenshot/capture the evidence, or the person being anonymous. Although, most teens are bullied by people they know/peers - not strangers.
Reporting in particular does actually help stop cyberbullying. It forces platforms to remove harmful content and block abusive accounts. In severe cases, they also have to escalate it to the right authorities (like police). In Australia, the eSafety Commissioner has ‘take down powers’ - so if you’re not happy with the actions taken by a site/platform, you can report it to eSafety and they can step in to legally compel the site/platform to take the content down. They also investigate cases where under 18s are cyberbullied too. Reporting works best when it’s linked for offline support, too, like talking to a teacher.
Also, just a quick note - some types of cyberbullying and online abuse are actually against the law. You can find out more on that in our 'the dark side of bullying' article.
This content was last reviewed 04
