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When parents separate or divorce
Adjusting to parents splitting up can be rough for the whole family. We’re here to support you through it.
There are lots of reasons why parents may split up...
Many parents choose to split up because of issues within their relationship.
- Sometimes it will be one parent wanting to leave the relationship; other times the decision will be agreed upon by both parents
- Parents might choose to live apart for a while, then they may decide to live apart permanently
- If they are legally married, they could choose to get divorced
Remember that it’s their choice - it’s never your fault. And it’s not up to you to try and fix things between them.
It’s ok to feel…
When parents split up it can be a lot to deal with! It might bring up some of the following emotions:
Sadness that your family is changing
Worry that things are changing or uncertain
Anger that your parents couldn’t work things out
Fear that you may not see one parent as much or at all
Relief if your parents were fighting or things felt tense
Confusion around why your parents are splitting
Loneliness if you can’t talk about it with anyone
Grief because your family is going to be different
It can help to prepare for some changes ahead…
Not everyone will go through the same changes, but here are some things you might want to ask your parents about:
- Living arrangements: you may primarily live with one parent or spend equal time with each
- Family time: you might not see one or both parents as often
- Study: if your parents move house, it might affect your studies
- Different routines: such as you might alternate holidays like Christmas Day with your parents
How to deal
It can take time to adjust – and there’s no rush!
In the meantime, there are things you can try that might help you cope and make sense of things:
Keep up routines
Hanging with friends, sports, homework
Keep doing the things you enjoy
Take regular breaks from worrying
Ask questions
It’s ok to be curious about what’s happening
Talk about it
Share your worries and frustrations with your parents, if you can
Focus on your goals
Have something to look forward to in the future
It’s ok if you’re not sure how to feel - just try and let someone know what’s going on for you and get support if you need it
This content was last reviewed 24/07/2018
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