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It’s not you, it’s not me – it’s the relationship
Breaking up doesn’t mean that you’re a failure.
The end of a relationship doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you.
Most of the time, no-one is to blame – it’s just that the relationship didn't work out.
It can take time and practice to find a relationship that works for you.
It doesn’t matter who you are or how old you are, it’s never easy to deal with the feelings and thoughts following a break up with someone you care about.
Breaking up can bring up a lot of different emotions
People have different reactions to breaking up, but some common feelings are:
What might cause a break up?
There are lots of reasons why relationships break up. Here are a few:
You discover that you like or want different things
It feels like the relationship is moving too fast or too slow
You both have different expectations of what it should be like in a relationship
You’re still discovering who you are and who you want to be
You don’t get along very well or the relationship has become unhealthy
You don’t feel safe or comfortable
"Some days will be easier than others – but it’s important to try and take it one day at a time."
Breaking up well
Being the one to decide to break up can be really difficult and emotional too – especially if you still care for the other person and worry about hurting them.
Here’s some tips on how to end the relationship in a helpful way:
Avoid using social media or a text message to break up with someone
Try to break up with someone face to face or over the phone
Try not to tell someone who might break the news before you get a chance to tell the other person first
Choose a time and place that allows both of you the freedom and safety to talk
Be considerate and treat the other person how you would like to be treated
It’s important to be honest and clear about your reason for breaking up
Try not to react defensively if the other person is angry or tearful
Stay true to yourself and your reasons
Avoid posting details about your break up on social media
"With help and support, you can get through this. Sometimes you may even end up even stronger than before."
Coping with a break up
Here are some ideas that might help you cope with a painful break-up:
Love is tricky stuff. It’s not always easy
There is always support available and someone you can talk to.
Remember, these feelings won’t last forever. In time you’ll move forward and the feelings will get easier and eventually pass.
You can also check out Head to Health for other digital services and resources.
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