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Coping with a break up

Whether you’re the person being broken up with or the person ending the relationship - break ups can be tough! We’ve got some tips to help you cope.

break up

It’s not you, it’s not me – it’s the relationship

Breaking up doesn’t mean that you’re a failure.

  • The end of a relationship doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you.

  • Most of the time, no-one is to blame – it’s just that the relationship didn't work out.

  • It can take time and practice to find a relationship that works for you.

  • It doesn’t matter who you are or how old you are, it’s never easy to deal with the feelings and thoughts following a break up with someone you care about.

Breaking up can bring up a lot of different emotions

People have different reactions to breaking up, but some common feelings are:









What might cause a break up?

There are lots of reasons why relationships break up. Here are a few:

  • You discover that you like or want different things

  • It feels like the relationship is moving too fast or too slow

  • You both have different expectations of what it should be like in a relationship

  • You’re still discovering who you are and who you want to be

  • You don’t get along very well or the relationship has become unhealthy

  • You don’t feel safe or comfortable

"Some days will be easier than others – but it’s important to try and take it one day at a time."

Breaking up well

Being the one to decide to break up can be really difficult and emotional too – especially if you still care for the other person and worry about hurting them.

Here’s some tips on how to end the relationship in a helpful way:

  • Avoid using social media or a text message to break up with someone

  • Try to break up with someone face to face or over the phone

  • Try not to tell someone who might break the news before you get a chance to tell the other person first

  • Choose a time and place that allows both of you the freedom and safety to talk

  • Be considerate and treat the other person how you would like to be treated

  • It’s important to be honest and clear about your reason for breaking up

  • Try not to react defensively if the other person is angry or tearful

  • Stay true to yourself and your reasons

  • Avoid posting details about your break up on social media

"With help and support, you can get through this. Sometimes you may even end up even stronger than before."

Coping with a break up

Here are some ideas that might help you cope with a painful break-up:

Open up and talk about it with someone you trust – don’t bottle it up.
Remind yourself that you’re not alone - you can overcome this.
Surround yourself with people who build you up and who see your strengths.
Try to learn from the experience.
Keep busy doing the things you enjoy!
Take care of yourself and stick to a routine.
Focus on your positives. Remind yourself of your good qualities.
Switch off and give yourself some time to heal.
The Breakup Shakeup app can help you find ways to deal with it all! It’s FREE to download from the App Store.

Love is tricky stuff. It’s not always easy

There is always support available and someone you can talk to.

Remember, these feelings won’t last forever. In time you’ll move forward and the feelings will get easier and eventually pass.

If you need some support coping with a break up, give us a call, start a WebChat or email us today.

You can also check out Head to Health for other digital services and resources.

This content was last reviewed 14/02/2018

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