Coping strategies
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READ MELearn all about autism, coping strategies that other autistic young people use, and how to support autistic family and friends.
This article was written in consultation with and reviewed by autistic people. At their request, we have used identity-first language (‘autistic person’) rather than person-first language (‘person with autism’).
Autism is a condition that affects how a person thinks, feels, interacts with others, and experiences their environment.
Autistic people are 'neurodivergent' or 'neurodiverse', which means that their brains are wired a little differently than 'neurotypicals'. (Neurotypical people have the most common type of brain). Some people like to think of this as a different operating system, like Apple technology products compared to Android.
Autistic people are born autistic and are autistic for their whole lives.
Autism is diagnosed as ‘Autism Spectrum Disorder’ (ASD), with the word ‘spectrum’ referring to the wide range of experiences and traits in the autistic community. This spectrum isn’t a straight line and autistic people are all individuals who can experience autism differently, and have different support needs.
Regardless of these different experiences and needs, all autistic people deserve respect and support.
Remember, autistic people are all individuals with different strengths and experiences.
Autistic people can experience differences with:
Socialising. For example, some autistic people might dislike eye contact. Other people might have a different sense of humour. Others might be very direct and clear in how they say things, or use an AAC (Augmentative and Alternate Communication) to communicate.
Sensations. Autistic people can experience sensations differently, such as noticing things others don’t or having strong positive or negative responses to certain stimuli e.g. being overwhelmed by crowds, getting distressed by loud noises, or feeling content and joyful when noticing different textures of plants while walking.
Emotions. Autistic people can experience emotions such as fear or happiness very intensely and can also display emotions in many different ways. For example, autistic people may use their body or vocal noises rather than facial expression or tone of voice to display how they feel, while others may internalise their feelings rather than openly demonstrating them. These differences can also make it confusing for some autistic people to interpret the emotions they experience or see in others.
Behaviours. Some autistic people like routine and dislike change, or might have a really strong interest (hyperfixation) in a particular topic. Autistic people may also move their hands and bodies in different repetitive ways, such as waving their hands, tapping their fingers or rocking their bodies. At times autistic people can use their voice in a similar repetitive way, making different sounds or repeating the same noise over and over. These types of behaviours are called 'stimming' - short for 'self-stimulating'. Stimming can be both calming and enjoyable for autistic people.
"This is my story about facing and overcoming living with autism."
Navigating a world designed for neurotypical people can sometimes be challenging and overwhelming for autistic people, because of their different experiences.
Autistic people are more likely than neurotypicals to experience bullying, abuse, unemployment or under employment, homelessness or housing instability, and mental illness.
Autistic people also have a greater likelihood of experiencing other conditions such as epilepsy, gastrointestinal issues, and being neurodivergent in other ways such as ADHD, which can each involve additional challenges.
A lack of respect, support and understanding, however, can pose some of the most difficult issues autistic people face.
Answers to commonly asked questions!
What is Asperger’s syndrome? In the past, ‘Asperger’s Syndrome’ was one of the diagnoses for ASD. Some people still use this term or might describe themselves as ‘being aspie’ when talking about their own experiences of autism.
What is a special interest? Autistic people often have narrower but deeper areas of interest than neurotypical people. Often autistic people will have a small number of topics which they are deeply passionate about, and which bring them great joy to learn about, talk about, or experience. These are called special interests.
What is masking? Masking is when an autistic person changes their behaviour, either consciously or subconsciously, to match neurotypical behaviours. It is often a result of being treated badly if they show their autistic traits. While in some settings it is safer for an autistic person to mask, it takes a huge amount of energy and can be very draining.
What is autistic burnout? When autistic people are pushed too hard (for example, not given the right supports, masking for too long) they can fall victim to autistic burnout. Autistic burnout usually lasts a few months, with reduced tolerance to stimulus (which may become a permanent issue), chronic exhaustion and loss of function.
What is stimming? ‘Stimming’, is a term that means ‘self-stimulating’ and refers to different behaviours that can help regulate or express emotions, process information, communicate, soothe and stimulate. Everyone stims sometimes, but autistic people stim a lot more often than neurotypicals, and are really good at it. These vary from person to person.
What is hyperfixation? Autistic brains are often really good at focusing deeply on one thing at a time; they may struggle to split attention between topics. ‘Hyperfixation’ is being completely immersed in something to the exclusion of everything else. It's more common in autistic people and can be a great asset. In this state a great deal of learning, productivity and appreciation can take place. When hyperfixating it’s important to take time to look after your basic needs, and it can be difficult when other people or responsibilities seek your attention.
Myths & facts about Autism
MYTH 1: Autistic people don’t feel emotions or empathy towards others.
FACT: Autistic people can be extremely caring. They may show their emotions and empathy in different ways, however autistic people do experience empathy and feel emotions intensely.
MYTH 2: Autistic people have an intellectual impairment.
FACT: Autism does not impact a person’s intelligence.
MYTH 3: You can tell someone is autistic by looking at them.
FACT: Autistic people come in all different appearances and from all different cultures. Autism does not define how a person looks.
MYTH 4: Autistic people are always male.
FACT: Autistic people can be male, female or gender diverse.
MYTH 5: Autistic people always prefer to be alone and do not want friends.
FACT: Autistic people can be introverts (gain energy from being alone), extroverts (gain energy from being around others) or ambiverts (a bit of both). Autistic people may need time alone to recharge and can enjoy doing activities quietly on their own, just like many other people. However, this doesn't mean they don't want friendships or relationships. Humans are social creatures, and autistic people experience a strong desire for social connection and can experience deep feelings of loneliness when this isn’t met. Autistic people can make amazing friends and partners.
A neurotypical's guide to supporting autistic people
Here are some things you can do to be a great support:
Getting support
Look for professionals who listen to and help you address your needs and goals, and who treat you with respect. If they don’t or you find something just isn’t helping, tell your support people so they can help you find help that is a better fit.
Because personal experiences vary so widely, there can be views on autism that sometimes clash or contradict, which can be quite emotive or cause conflict between different people/communities. At Kids Helpline, we see all young people as being experts in their own lives and value all experiences. If you would like to discuss anything you see in this article, or give any feedback, please get in touch with us!
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