What is this big thing called grief?
Losing someone you cared about can be heartbreaking and turn your world ...
READ MEWhen something tragic happens close to home
When something really upsetting happens in your community, it can shake how you see the world.
Even if you weren’t there, or didn’t know the people involved, news like this can still hit hard.
You might feel shocked, sad, angry, scared, numb – or all of these at once. There’s no “right” way to feel.
Big events can make things suddenly feel unsafe or out of control. That reaction is human. And you’re not weak for being affected.
Why it can feel so intense – even if it didn’t happen to you
Hearing about violence, loss or disaster can cause secondary trauma.
That means your brain and body react to someone else’s trauma, especially when the event feels close to home or reminds you of your own life.
You might notice:
- replaying details of the event in your head
- feeling jumpy, anxious or on edge
- having trouble sleeping or concentrating
- feeling flat, numb or disconnected
- worrying more about your own safety or the people you care about
This doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your brain is trying to protect you by staying alert.
Grief isn’t just about losing someone you know
Grief isn’t only about death, and it doesn’t only happen when you personally lose someone.
Grief can show up as sadness, but also as anger, confusion, guilt, fear, or even feeling nothing at all.
It can come in waves. You might feel okay one moment and overwhelmed the next.
All of this is normal.
You can grieve:
- people you didn’t know but feel connected to
- a sense of safety or trust in the world
- the idea that bad things “won’t happen here”
It’s okay to feel big feelings
Sometimes people say things like “try not to think about it” or “others have it worse.”
Even if they mean well, those comments can make you feel like you should push your feelings away.
You don’t have to do that.
Letting yourself notice what you’re feeling – without judging it, is part of coping.
Big feelings don’t mean you’re not coping, they mean something big has happened.
Things that can help when the news feels heavy
You can’t control what happened, but there are things you can do to steady yourself.
Take breaks from the news
It’s okay to stay informed, but constant scrolling can make everything feel more intense. Try setting limits – like checking updates once or twice a day instead of all the time.
Ground your body
When your body feels tense or shaky, grounding can help:
- take slow, deep breaths (in through your nose, out through your mouth)
- name 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel, 3 you can hear
- move your body – stretch, walk, or shake out tension
Stick to routines
Keeping some normal structure (sleep, meals, school, hobbies) can help your brain feel safer, even when things feel uncertain.
Express what’s inside
Talking, writing, drawing, listening to music or creating something can help feelings move instead of getting stuck. You don’t need perfect words – just honesty.
Stay connected
Being around people who feel safe can make a big difference. That might be friends, family, teachers, or a counsellor. You don’t have to explain everything – even sitting quietly together can help.
When things feel like too much
If the feelings aren’t easing, or they’re starting to affect your sleep, school, or relationships, extra support can help.
Especially if you’re feeling constantly on edge, hopeless, or unsafe.
Talking things through with a trained counsellor can help you make sense of what you’re feeling and find ways to cope that work for you. You deserve support, no matter how “close” or “far away” the event was.
You’re not alone in this
Tragic events can make the world feel darker – but they can also remind us how deeply people care. Feeling affected means you have empathy. And empathy is a strength.
Whatever you’re feeling right now, it matters. And help is available when you’re ready.
Give us a call, start a webchat or chat with people going through similar situations in My Circle.
This content is available to download as a pdf.
This content was last reviewed 15/12/2025
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