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365 Gratitude Journal

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I felt so angry at everything

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Partially, I realised that I was genderqueer - but more than this, I felt so angry at everything. I couldn't pay attention. Couldn't sit still. Kept getting in trouble at school. All the while somehow convincing my parents and friends that I was still this perfect kid. That everything was fine.

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She would say nasty things to me every single day

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She would say I wish you weren't at this school, you have no friends, you are the worst kid in this school… Eventually, in term four, I told my teacher that she was doing it and as I was explaining it she didn't understand what I was saying.

I burst out in tears and my entire class stopped what they were doing and were looking at me. I felt so embarrassed.

After that I felt so much better. My teacher gave me a web address to use whenever I need to and that web address was Kids Helpline.

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I thought I was the reason why they divorced

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It gave me reasons to hate myself. I thought I was the reason why they divorced. I finished primary school and thought high school would be a blank slate, a fresh page or a new chapter. But in reality it was the catalyst to where I am now. I realised no one else was in charge of my happiness except for me. The catch… I'm bisexual and my mum has traditional views.

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A fight with my best friend left me even more broken

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One year when we were finally in the same class I saw her with two different girls - they were chatting and ignored me as I walked past. I was broken. We got to choose where we sat and she went with another girl. I sat next to the last girl left, Alice. Her best friend was sitting with another girl too. But I was cautious. I was expecting a fight, but it didn't happen. 

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Niggle 2817

Being the only bisexual among my friends and family made me feel alone. I read up on it and found others like me online. Now I'm proud to be bisexual!

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It has helped me so much with day to day life

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I went on a diet but it soon turned horribly wrong. I stopped eating around others and I started to restrict everything that I ate. I started to feel really bad and only ate dinner each day even though I was doing so much exercise with my Irish dancing, gymnastics and school work.

I then had to move schools and that was so sad as I had to leave my good friends. I am a very shy person - it was so hard for me to make new friends at the new school. This added to the stress in my life and my eating went from bad to worse. We had to do an assignment at school on eating disorders.

Your story can help others!

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