When I was 11 years old, I lost my little sister.

In her memory, I wrote a poem of my struggles and my relief to share with the world.

When I got the call, I felt my heart break apart.
I felt myself slipping away and forever drowning in the darkness.
I cried and cried, until I could no more.

Overwhelmed, I fell deeper and deeper;
with no hope of escaping the darkness 
of my own heart and soul.
Until… someone pulled me out,
gave me a hug and reassured me,
that hope is never lost and that light never fades.

About two years ago, I was struggling with my mental health. I was self-harming a lot and I was suicidal.

Around the same time, I attempted to take my life for the first time. After that, I was referred to child and adolescent mental health services where they diagnosed me with depression and anxiety disorder.

I also started to develop disordered eating patterns and perfectionistic traits which made my life harder.

Partially, I realised that I was genderqueer - but more than this, I felt so angry at everything. I couldn't pay attention. Couldn't sit still. Kept getting in trouble at school. All the while somehow convincing my parents and friends that I was still this perfect kid. That everything was fine.